I Finally Found Myself.

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My name is Kirsten Boileau. I have no idea who I am. I lost myself along time ago, if you can even say it was myself I knew. This life I lead scares me and the life ahead scares me even more. I am really hard to figure out and I am too easy to say goodbye to. Some people say I change their lives, and I do, I ruin them. So it's best to never get to know me. I say I am complex but most of that is due to my Personality Disorders, not me myself. You will never know what I am thinking, because my mind is forever changing, as is my life. I might be here one day and leave the next. I'm a wanderer, so please step back and let me go. Because things never do really change, do they?

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Saturday, September 18, 2010 (Part 1)

Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I didn't have internet for 3 days. Except on my phone and I didn't want to write on that. And I didn't feel like writing because I have been so low.

I was right I do have Borderline Personality Disorder, but I have also Bipolar I. I found out it's common to have BPD and Bipolar at the same time.

So I'm fucked.

They uped all my medicine and took me off Equetro. Let's see what that does.

This last week, has been so hard. I couldn't drive anywhere, because I was afraid I was going to smash into a car. So my parents had to drive me everywhere. And I couldn't be alone, because I was scared of what I would do. So my family had to chaperon me.

I am so fucked up.

And I have no clue of what to do.

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