Sunday, September 5, 2010 (Part 1)

Okay, I admit it. Last night I was a little over dramatic. But I was planning to kill myself. The was another sign and that was a cop car sitting in the place I wanted to do it. So I just went home. I told my parents last night that I am going to most likely die by my own hands. They took it pretty hard, but who's parents wouldn't? My Grandma is in the hospital, I saw her today. And man did it just make me feel worse inside. I am going down an ever lasting spiral, and I know I am the only one who can pull myself out, but I just don't know how. I didn't sleep at all last night, again. And surprisingly I had a Manic fit for about 2 hours. But I just crashed back into this low of lows. I fell asleep though at 3 and sleep somewhat well till now. Four hours.. that's not bad. Tonight I am just going to stay in tonight. I am not ready for the outside world again. For friends again. Last night was too much.